His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
