My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
