i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
