so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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