Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
