Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
