Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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