Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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