shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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