she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
