I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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