she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
