I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Found the puke drawer
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize