in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
