I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
