She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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