Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
