I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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