i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
