I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
