No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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