just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
