YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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