Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
