i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
