Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
