i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
