I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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