idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
