new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
