i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
