Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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