I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
