Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
