There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
