I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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