just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
