I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
