So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
