you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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