wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
