It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
