I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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