Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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