So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
