a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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