We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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