Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
