sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
