Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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