Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i came on her dog
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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